i love you, god is good, be, rest, abide <3 annabeth istvan i love you, god is good, be, rest, abide <3 annabeth istvan

slow down

slow down & see more

cumin and cinnamon, cilantro stems and potato peeks, garden secrets and scents sweet and aromatic, green, orange, fresh, savory.

 

raindrops’ path down pane or wind’s revelation in branch, leaf waltz to earth.

 

sunrise mural vast mystery gorgeous daily new array!

 

the slower you go the more you’ll know.

 

if you walked across the country, all these and more would be yours. but if you flew, if you drove, none of it would be known by you.

 

if you walked across the country, you could converse with farmers, homeless, waitresses, women watering gardens and men walking dogs. if you flew or rode a train, the wisdom from these voices would not be gleaned.

 

the slower you go, the more you’ll know.

 

birds waking dawn, insects ushering in dusk, the sunshine friend in between…all lost if you flew.

 

life is not  point A to point B.

 

life is knowing God along the way.

 

He is the way.

 

so slow down—stop hurry.

 

no more rush rush! rest, laugh, enjoy.

 

don’t miss love.

 

breathe. be.

 

God is I AM.

 

be present in His Presence.

 

you’ll be surprised because

 

 the slower you go…the more you’ll know.

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Jesus, God, love, grace <3 annabeth istvan Jesus, God, love, grace <3 annabeth istvan

sploosh!

simply receive from God!

I am right here.

a living waterfall, whooshing & kaplooshing, laughing & splashing.

here.

drenching soul atoms, saturating to soaked

& all you need is empty. all you need is a little faith—to open big your cell containers under waiting water from Source patient to pour & provide, to gush & grow.

so grow! be & become in the looking sun

for the Son sees you

all those memories you hung like newspaper wallpaper, weeping thinking it was wasted…

watch it wash into color, painted with purpose & molded through surrender into paper mâché sculptures worthy of museum

drip!

did you hear the first drop? one glimpse of God’s goodness can undo the worst past, one rainbead & rebirth sparkles.

like a desert dry, all it takes is gift of God to garden.

drip

drop–

Hope

Himself

is

Here!

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<3 annabeth istvan <3 annabeth istvan

music atoms

palms on a tree, like palms on a hand, wave in wind to ocean’s endless wave smiles.

moon magnet communicates, too, dancing with tide and shining tidings and greetings below.

stars pierce my mind like light pricks through sky cloak.

each sparkle a wonder—

what are we here for?

breathe a bit then be done?

could these inhales exhales be it?

or could there be a greater web woven. a bigger canvas—more beautiful than a real sunset. those magenta gold orange hues just meant to toot the tune of Greater. meant to summon us up, draw us forward into Love. maybe creation has a message.

but you can’t hear it if you’re full of other things.

do you want to keep your trash? your “valuables” like trauma junk and anxiety debris—wrapped up in self and all the money things? or could there be a losing more better than your dearest dream. lose the right to the illusion that you govern your life. surrender these breaths. let go these lung inflations and exhalations. something—Someone—better’s here.

let go…

the wind who wants to fill you waits.

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here, help, held, protection is peace <3 annabeth istvan here, help, held, protection is peace <3 annabeth istvan

Shepherd

You need a Shepherd 🫶🏼

Have you ever felt like you don’t know what you’re doing? Like if only there was a manual for parenting or marriage or life? You wonder if you’re alone or feel like you’re groping into darkness, looking for the light switch? Just deep down longing for someone to notice you?

What if the answer is a who, not a what?

Have you ever thought—I need a shepherd?

I know—we don’t think of ourselves as sheep, so, this thought has probably never crossed your heart. But, what if a shepherd is what you need?

Someone to lead you, guide you, so you don’t have to take guesses in the dark anymore or fall into hidden pits all the time.

Someone to protect you, so you aren’t ravaged by evil.

Someone to provide for you, so you have everything you need, & lack nothing.

Someone to take care of you.

 

& not just any shepherd—a GOOD shepherd, the best out there. One with perfect attention & present affection.

 

Have you ever thought—I need a shepherd?

His Presence is our comfort, our strength, our leadership, our peace. There is so much here, but my encouragement to you is—do you know you need a shepherd? Do you want to lie down in this perfect  Overseer of love? To lose your own rights to your life but to be found in trust in Him? Lose it all to find Him. Let Him be your friend, your guide, your protector, provider, caretaker, lover. Because we need a shepherd. & one glimpse at the goodness of this shepherd

will

change

everything.

 

Today let’s get lost in the One who gave

The One who came

The One who stays

Faithful

Unfailing

Beautiful

True

Wherever you find yourself

Today

Find yourself in Him

There’s an invitation—a whisper—speaking to you…

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He takes me to lush pastures, he leads me to refreshing water. He restores my strength. He leads me down the right paths for the sake of his reputation. Even when I must walk through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff reassure me. You prepare a feast before me in plain sight of my enemies. You refresh my head with oil; my cup is completely full. Surely your goodness and faithfulness will pursue me all my days, and I will live in the Lord’s house for the rest of my life.”
Psalms 23

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love, God, with you <3 annabeth istvan love, God, with you <3 annabeth istvan

what the stars whisper

Listen to the stars

there is nothing without Yeshua.

He is life.

looking for life outside of Son is like groping in darkness until stumbling off a cliff.

His light is understanding. what you are looking for is not peace, is not money, love, or even freedom. what you are looking for is a Person. Someone. & He is everything. find Him & find life.

He is life.

like our bodies need water—we need Him.

like our lungs need oxygen—we need Him.

MORE than that.

so if you’re slowly suffocating, it’s because you’ve never breathed! receive Him—life—oxygen—water & find you were never really alive in the first place.

 

inagine a baby’s first breath! how God delights to give His children life.

 

but you must receive

this requires humility.

this requires hunger.

this requires hope.

COME, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, COME buy and eat! COME, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? LISTEN diligently to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in rich food. INCLINE your ear and COME to ME; hear, that your soul may live; and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast, sure love for David.

Isaiah 55:1-3

go underwater

be filled

eat

drink

be merry

only you can receive

for yourself

so have Me

receive bread

drink wine

ME

I am your sustenance

I am your bread

I am enough

 

so be Mine

there is nothing else

 

but to surrender to the

King of Kings

& to find yourself in Him

 

COME to HIM

before it’s too late

before the door closes

at the end

Now—there is time.

so come 🫶🏼

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love, Jesus, together, now <3 annabeth istvan love, Jesus, together, now <3 annabeth istvan

mon amie

together is all we need

while licking melting rocket red white blue popsicles, we soar on two swings side by side. your laugh is one of my favorite songs; it’s in the top ten, with waterfall roars & star pops.

I love looking into your eyes, the green flecks I speckled Myself lighting up as we play “i’m going to get you”, running and chasing in field, out of breath & grinning so much our smiling muscles ache.

the clouds witness our friendship, the necklace I gift you—BFF—and the high five pound it, spin, hug secret handshake no one knows but you and me. the number 29, one of hundreds of inside jokes only we know.

You’re my favorite place. our treehouse where we both run, every morning at 6 am, to be together ranks high as well. You whisper me Your secrets. I study Your face. The sun rises, & I do, too. You’re here, & that is

all

I need

to

know.

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God, yahweh, yes <3 annabeth istvan God, yahweh, yes <3 annabeth istvan

be

simply receive

darkness runs

shadow retreats

soil deep & damp waits

as little molecule breath seed becomes in secret earth womb

breaking dying opening receiving cloud’s water gifts

exploding up

in slow motion

 

verdant & one hundred percent living, simple true

 

like you

 

if

 

 you be a good receiver—

let rain soak

let sun saturate & air circulate

 

receive

 

we have nothing that we have not received

 

so be like seed

 

rest

 

be

 

let Creator rain & do not resist

His Gift

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<3 annabeth istvan <3 annabeth istvan

hi

I’m here

I’m with you

I’m in you

beside you

all around

every side covered

no lack

no gain apart from Me

I’m in everything

I won’t leave you—I

won’t forsake you

faithful Father

more than Friend

I’m

inside

here

with you

all the time

unchanging

never leaving

here

 

& in the waiting

there is more

be true to who I’ve made you to be

be true to Me within

you, I AM

the I AM

in you

let all that I AM

be all that you are

& you will find

becoming

 

in this is life—

that you know Me

that you love Me

that you be with Me

in the in-between

 

here

now

forever

 

so be here

 

rest

 

sit

 

eat

I’m all you need

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<3 annabeth istvan <3 annabeth istvan

trust God who grows

the seed within

grows & goes

up up up

let it be

no need to work

to make it grow

you can’t create leaves,

stems, anything.

so rest

be

sit in bed

& be

& see—the Creator

is in you

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Jesus, loves, you <3 annabeth istvan Jesus, loves, you <3 annabeth istvan

confetti ✨

slow down & see God in everything!

what is in the sky of your life?

God deeply longs to create again in us. to pop His confetti cannons in our hearts, explosions of colorful yes’s, bursting & booming across sunrise banner.

will you let Him?

each second is a treat, an opportunity to receive & to rejoice, to let the Lord be the Lord. & as we submit to Him, His love dust settles in the cracked places, to mend to heal to make again. because we need the dew of heaven to revive us, to rest on us, to be within us always.

like confetti, like dust or dew drops, there are many small things here which add up.

breaths

cells

cents

seeds

seconds

 many individual grass blades create a lawn! like these little yet important things, our yes to God matters.

slow down & remember—little yes’s add up!

give God your yes right now, then repeat over & over until your life is a lush lawn of green abiding in Jesus, each second one blade of grass & may we be drenched in dew, covered—in rest.

Do not despise small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.

Zechariah 4:10

 

One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much

Luke 16:10

 

The seed is the Word of God…as for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the Word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.

Luke 8:11&15

 

By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.

2 Timothy 1:14

with all this small talk, also know: God is in the details, the small parts of life. He cares about you. He sees you. He knows the number of hairs on your head. He catches your tears in a bottle. there is no thing too small to carry to God in prayer. if it matters to you, it matters to God. slow down & thank God for the little daily blessings. choose to see the good all around you & realize God is bigger than you think yet somehow still actively involved in every tiny detail of life. He dances over you with little happy confetti gifts falling like dew, giving like rain, making everything new every second—if we let Him!

 

Even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear

Luke 12:7a

 

God, thank You for little, which is actually big. help us see. help us receive. rest, remain in us. may we be the product of You, & no one else. may Your dew rest on our grass. rain Your rainbow confetti, all over, all the time! we love You Lord, let us love You like we are created to. celebrate in us Lord. help us slow down & see & may every second be a party—with You, in You, for You. hallelujah here! 

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hope, help, holy spirit <3 annabeth istvan hope, help, holy spirit <3 annabeth istvan

proposal on a hill ✝️

God loves you!

have you ever said hi to a dragonfly? taken the time to hear his story & laughed together over brunch? or you could knock on cloud’s door—she has many stories stored up just waiting to outpour. what about that rock in your backyard? even that fellow knows a thing or two.

all creation sings the same song.

slow down & you can tune in, too.

Yahweh’s beauty. His majesty. intricate glory, gorgeous wisdom. He is in everything & everything is for Him.

do you know Him?

that sunrise can be an introduction. your first hello. He’s jealous for your attention & longs for your mind real estate. toss that tiny screen you shine in your face & opt for the sun instead! He’s singing. He’s saying your name. meet Him, too. He is patient. He is kind. full of goodness & tenderheartedness. He waits for you to come to Him.

all this life is is an opportunity to meet God.

if you say no long enough to the open, waiting arms of love, He will eventually reject you like you rejected Him. He doesn’t want to. He wants you to say yes to Him, to know His lavish love for you! that while you walked contrary to Him, while you turned your back to Him & did evil, He ran after you. chased you with His goodness. found you in your pit. but at some point you need to let Him love you! you need to respond. it’s not hard, or scary. God is the best ever. & knowing Him? there is nothing else!

like finding a treasure in a field, you’ll sell everything else just to buy that field & gain the Lover of your soul. lose it all to discover a new life in succulent juicy real raw right now Father in love with you!!

all life is is an opportunity to meet God

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God is fun, joy <3 annabeth istvan God is fun, joy <3 annabeth istvan

God Laughs

God is funny 🤣 🫶🏼

have you ever thought of God as having a sense of humour? the more i get to know Him, the more fun we have together.

He Really wants to have fun with His kids.

so loosen up. laugh. play. let Him push you on the swings, go down tube slides together & don’t forget to have tickle times & pillow fights, together! 

here are some funny things from creation God showed me. we had a good laugh, together. i hope you can smile with Him, too.

ostrich faces!

horse teeth!

cow udders!

ape butts!

octopi!

wow, good one, God! 🤣

for more about the laughter of God, check out the book i drew, inspired by the fact that a joyful heart is good medicine!

https://www.amazon.com/Bubble-Lighthearted-Look-Life-Lockdown/dp/1737724812

i hope you LAUGH

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god is here, all is well <3 annabeth istvan god is here, all is well <3 annabeth istvan

breaking up with conformity

looking for wine in washing machines never works. just fall down where you already are, to be found ❤️

I don’t want familiar.

I’m done with comfortable.

All the books i’ve told myself for decades—the tapes i’ve played in my mind, the memories i’ve clung to, the past i’ve lived in, the volumes of self and the information of memory…

I just want free. I want to be everything You give.

So empty me of me. Take the trinkets, the boxes of horror, even the pretty things that I think hold value. I’ve been a hoarder, my fingers and heart crevices stuffed with myself, me, and i. full of things You never gave me. Now You’re offering me the gift of a lifetime—of eternity—but i’m too stuffed with high school pimples and what happened when I was two, to be able to receive from You. I’ve got all my yearbooks, that first break up, a lot of fear closets and some hidden lie monsters in the cellar, i’ve got pretty shiny things like thinking i’m good apart from You, some dollars and some thoughts I love that You know don’t make value or bring cents in Your Kingdom.

I’m full of trash that I call treasure. If only I could see this so I could finally fall down, give it all to You, so You could fill me with real treasure.

I want the heaven gold. I want forever jewels. I want You. You are the treasure. Your Presence the gift! So take these hands, erase them. Take this heart, break the idol factory. Help me careen to the end of myself so I can fly (more like fall) into Your hug.

I want to have space to receive what You give.

Help me let go.

Help me empty.

Help empty me so You can flood so You can fill so You make me Your home, come sit on the throne of my heart. come Lord come Savior come Friend. Initiate a demolition, a full rehab. Destroy all my interior so You can have Your way inside me. Get all heart real estate and take up all mind space. Get every cell and occupy each iota of all atoms. I love You, I need You. Come Jesus have all of me! I’m Yours Lord! Set me free!

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God, loves, you <3 annabeth istvan God, loves, you <3 annabeth istvan

hello my One True Love

happiness is free

to sky muralist and water wave stepper. to the one who carved my thumb whirl and sealed my heart, hello my one true Love. You will never abandon or break up with me. never abuse or hurt me. You never change. faithful and true. each millisecond brings something different, yet You remain. steady, constant, firm. from the first tick of time to the final second of earth, You’re the unchanging rock. my hiding place, my everything. praise You for each mountain sculpture. You rearrange the sky tapestry—an ever escalating beautiful stratosphere singing Your glory. the rain, the coral, the forest, the fire, the water, the cacti, the blankets of space. nature—each line and curve, color and song—the proof of God’s glory!

this excerpt is taken from my story, Microwave the Moon available on Amazon!

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<3 annabeth istvan <3 annabeth istvan

vein vessels

receive from God the gift every moment

waterways flowing like oxygen &

wind

throughout limb &

back again

circulate pattern—the goodness of God

the life is in the blood

capillaries to cells tickle

elbows—remind us to dance

what’s in your blood?

a chex mix of God-gifts? or toxic trinkets?

have your veins been emptied yet—to be filled with His blood?

coursing, giving, receiving, going.

never stagnant or unconnected

veins flow from heart—where God’s love poured!

start there—

love

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Jesus, Yeshua, God, love, everything, everything is ok <3 annabeth istvan Jesus, Yeshua, God, love, everything, everything is ok <3 annabeth istvan

trusting in the waiting

ride with God in His wide tide of love, all the way home

progress is not pretty, piped frosting.


growth is not rehearsed ballets.


flowering is more like a rowboat with oars rubbing against its sides—the forward motion comes through friction.


another picture of this is the bow scraping against violin strings—the beautiful music coming through tension.

no one wants to watch a film without conflict. we all have housefire shipwrecks.
the question is, what do you do with them…allow the ruins to draw you to

surrender,

or harden your heart?


let’s take heart because the greatest beauty emerges from pitch dark cocoons.
so don’t waste your pit.


put your trust in the God who fills the clouds with water.

after all, the flowers won’t grow without downpour.

put your trust in God!

home is a blink away.

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<3 annabeth istvan <3 annabeth istvan

thanks giving

a content heart rests

thank You for water as it rises, the kind that cleanses & covers. take away the debris & let everything sparkle & shine

thank You in this evil age, You are here, in our midst. You are good & you do good

like a mosaic of music, You compose the things we go through into a giant mural of good. & though we can only see one note at a time, by faith we understand the symphony song will be in harmony with Heaven when we fall down & allow You to compose

 

thank You for compost, the trash & broken that crashes from our silhouette as we follow Your tune—yet not for waste, but for gold. You take the trash & turn it into treasure, something beautiful, useful & a tool to transform others

You are good & You do good. thank You

 

thank You for socks. the comfort, the cushion & the protection that covers our soles, our souls. You are good & You do good

 

thank You for hugs. thank You we don’t have to leave Your forever hug. every other thing ends. not You, not Your hug, it is an eternal embrace. & we can live there now

 

thank You for grass. that simple green blade after blade reminder to remain, abide & rest. &, as we live with You now, You multiply those little moments of enjoying You into a lifetime lawn of lush love & laid down flourishing. You’re goodness gushes when we stop rushing& just lay down, slow down, be

thank You God. You are good. You do good. You are good.

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Jesus, joy, beauty, love <3 annabeth istvan Jesus, joy, beauty, love <3 annabeth istvan

together

toes entwined under stars divine

each day-start, I open a new book with fresh pages, & paint a glory hello. greet Me, too. open your eyes & sing.

 

& at the end of the evening, I close the book, put the day on My shelf of stories & cuddle into bed with My beloved.

 

I love cold grass tickling between My toes with you, I like to take you to breakfast—Me, you, runny egg yolks & rye toast. I’ll never forget your smile. breakfast with you.

You’re there when my dad died & the black hole opened in my mind. You stooped to stay close when I laid on my carpet for 10 months.

 

You’re right here.

 

like waterfalls, You ever-gush.

 

You’re not afraid of my darkness. unphased by that thing I hide from everybody else. You just want to hug me. all You want is a hug. a hug that never ends. so open my toes, curled & clenched, let’s go back to barefoot in grass.

let’s go to the forest—just you & Me—let’s discover new berries, wind secrets, open stars together.

I love you.

you’re My friend.

will you be My friend?

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hi, Jesus, prayer, life, more <3 annabeth istvan hi, Jesus, prayer, life, more <3 annabeth istvan

one grass blade at a time makes a lawn

one yes at a time adds up to a beautiful life of laid down loving

little yes’ add up. like breaths add up to a lifetime, cells & atoms compose creation, cents make a million,  seeds sow to orchards, & seconds tick to century, little yes’ to God count, create a life of rest & praise pleasing to Jesus. like these seeds & cents,  our lives matter. our tiny daily choices matter—what we choose to think, what we do with our time, how we treat others, how we steward what we’re given,  how we respond to the love of God. it all matters. it all adds up.

& it starts with one yes.

 

one yes in response to God’s yes to us. then another, another, another yes! little by little, more & more, we draw near to the Lover, & we are changed. made to be like Him, from glory to glory, from faith to faith.

so rest. submit to God. live in His yes, to you.

 

& you will find a life of abundance in His Holy Spirit. a life of peace. of joy & of so much more than you can ask, think, or imagine.

 

He wants to do this & He waits for your yes. God delights to see the work begin.

today is the day of salvation. the day to be, belong, receive.

 

so rest.

 

say Yes

 

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin. Zechariah 4:10

 

The strong right arm of the Lord is raised in triumph. The strong right arm of the Lord has done glorious things! I will not die; instead, I will live to tell what the Lord has done. The Lord has punished me severely, but he did not let me die. Open for me the gates where the righteous enter, and I will go in and thank the Lord. These gates lead to the presence of the Lord, and the godly enter there. I thank you for answering my prayer and giving me victory! The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone. This is the Lord’s doing, and it is wonderful to see. This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Please, Lord, please save us. Please, Lord, please give us success. Bless the one who comes in the name of the Lord. We bless you from the house of the Lord. The Lord is God, shining upon us. Take the sacrifice and bind it with cords on the altar. You are my God, and I will praise you! You are my God, and I will exalt you! Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Psalms 118:16-29

the upright enjoy acceptance.
Proverbs 14:9

I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Psalm 16:8

on the day you die, what will you regret?

think about it.

change it now, while there is still time…

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Jesus, now, happy, Mine <3 annabeth istvan Jesus, now, happy, Mine <3 annabeth istvan

let’s bake!

use what you’re given.

don’t let those ingredients just sit on the counter! partner with Grace to become what He paid for

spend time standing at the kitchen counter, seeking the directions for the ingredients in the recipe of God

take what you’re given & GO forward in what to do with it

God wants us to advance His Kingdom in the earth

do what you’re told

move forward in faith

don’t grow weary or allow tired

be His

become in the secret quiet

live a life set apart to the King

He is your strength

live IN Him

don’t leave

don’t wander, but stay in the confines of your King, the safety of His walls, the gates of His garden

be His. & through communion, create. let Him use you.

intimacy multiplies.

let Him love through you! the Word of God never returns void. live His way, be faithful to Jesus, & He will multiply Himself into His earth through you. be His

enjoy fellowship, enjoy communion. live a life laid down, in humility & truth

 be His

 there is nothing else. yield to Him & let Him take the things the ingredients He’s put in you& around you, & to make something beautiful.

sometimes you’ll be beaten like whisking batter, or broken like eggs, left to rise like dough or given to the fire like an oven, but no matter the process, trust it’s all for something good, according to the recipe plan of God. & the result will be sweet. it will all be worth it, just trust the One behind it all. know He’s got the plans the design & He, is good.

so trust, rest, be. belong & become. & through rest, find power to multiply as He works through you

partner with Him, seek Him. & the fruit will be sweet

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